Chapter 66: Blind Pigs

“I climbed the Tower at seventeen, Chancellor, and for ten years I have held it. So before you bare your knife at my back, ask yourself this – would you really be the first to try?”

– Dread Emperor Nihilis I, the Tanner

Flat and open grounds sat before us, the earth black and musky.

The sun peeked out solemnly from behind the cover of clouds, a wet and lazy breeze licking at the skin as the summer heat saw droplets gather and slither down the armour of my knights. Hidden near the edge of a thicket of oak and poplars, we watched as in the distance as a warband of armed corpses shambled forward. They were taking the same eastward trail that a hundred other like them had, over nights and days. There’d been no need of a tracker to find that well-beaten track. There was a name, I idly remembered, for this place. There was a village not too far, a mark on a map where men had lived and a lord had ruled. It slipped my mind, despite my best efforts, but I did not grieve myself the lapse. We had fought a dozen skirmishes in as many different places since morning, and by now they were beginning to meld into each other.

“Seven hundred or thereabouts, my queen,” Sir Brandon Talbot said. “And our outriders are adamant the closest warband is the better part of an hour away.”

I laid a hand on the neck of Zombie the Sixth, feeling him breathe in and out slowly. The stallion was a pale brown Salamans zancada, a breed favoured by both leisure racers and the light cavalry that Arlesites were so fond of. A gift from Princess Beatrice Volignac, and not an inexpensive one. I supposed I did qualify as light horse nowadays, since all I wore for armour was a breastplate with tassets and upper vambraces over an aketon – and the Mantle of Woe, over it all. It was a waste to give such a fine horse to a rider as ferociously average as myself, in my opinion, especially when I usually preferred riding dead horses to live ones. Yet it would have been unmannerly to refuse it, and while the Order had remounts they were from lesser breeds so I didn’t even have a good reason to do so.

I fully expected Zombie the Sixth to die before the end of the day, though, which would properly earn him his name would solve the issue anyway. I’d seriously debated killing him and raising him before Hakram got me to admit it would be somewhat unpolitic of me.

“Then we take them,” I said. “Have the horns sounded, Grandmaster Talbot.”

“It will be my pleasure,” the bearded knight replied with a hard grin.

He pulled one-handed on the reins of his purebred Liessen charger, leading away the large horse at a trot and shouting out his orders. The knights carrying long banners, both the Order’s own cracked bronze bells on black as well as my own Sword and Crown, brought the silver-banded horns hanging around their necks to their lips and blew. One, twice, thrice. The deep call echoed across the grounds of Hainaut, giving that age-old order my people knew the way they dawn: all knights, charge. I watched, hidden in the shade of a tall poplar tree. The dead had enough Binds among them that they began to mobilize before the Order had even begun to emerge from the cover of the trees, but the warband had been spread out in a loose column for the march. They would not gather quickly enough. Split into four wedges of five hundred, two on each side of the path, my knights lowered their lances and broke into a gallop.

My staff of yew resting against Zombie’s neck, my sword still sheathed, I waited with the remounts and the squires in the woods as the Order fell on the dead like packs of wolves. It was with a twinge of satisfaction that I watched lowered killing lances, engraved with hymns to the Heavens, scythe through the thin ranks of the enemy as large armoured horses trampled the surprised undead. All four wedges broke through the enemy lines, not allowing themselves to be drawn into melee but instead punching straight through. In good order, they gathered again and wheeled around to charge anew from fresh angles. Most undead were incapable of so much as denting the armour of my knights, and this column was low on javelinmen: maybe a score wounded and fewer dead were all it took before most the Binds were dead and the warband dissolved into a disorderly mass of corpses.

From there the knights of the Order of the Broken Bell went at it with cold and practiced efficiency, using the tactics developed over years of fighting Keter. A wedge skimmed the edge of the mass of the dead, drawing the enemy forward, only for two others to flank it with deadly charges. Before a protracted melee could ensure, all three wedges withdrew and the fourth wedge of unengaged knights went forward to serve as fresh bait for a repeat of the manoeuver. Binds would have punished such a repetition, but skeletons simply did not learn from their mistakes. It was grim and bloody work that followed, but repetitive and the danger involved was not as great as might look: unless pulled down from their mount, few of my knights were truly at risk unless the enemy got lucky.

It had all been going quite well, which was why I half-expected it when horns sounded from the woods on the other side of the open grounds. There would be squires and horses in that opposite thicket as well, though I could hardly see any of them, and it must be one of their number that was blowing the call for danger – two short, sharp sounds. My staff left Zombie’s neck and I spurred him forward without a word, ignoring the squires asking after me. Talbot had named ‘officers’ among them, lead squires, so it was not my job to hold their hand. My horse’s long and certain stride took us out of the woods and slightly downslope onto the battleground even as I kept an eye on the currents there. Talbot was in command, and he’d prudently ordered two wedges to draw the skeletons away while assembling the other two to head back to the squires.

Quick as he’d been, the enemy was quicker still. Panicked horses, the remounts of a thousand knights, were led hastily out of the woods by mounted squires in mail even as screams and the sound of fighting came from deeper in. I led Zombie into a hasty gallop, trampling a skeleton that tried to stand in my way in a crunch of steel-clad hooves, and broke into the shaded thicket even as another pack of squires fled it. They parted around me, and I glimpsed shame on some of those faces. Given what I glimpsed deeper in, though, there was truly none to be had. It was a man, if one long dead. The shoddy hide armour – little more than a vest – he wore over tattered shirt and trousers did nothing to distinguish him from the zombies Keter threw at soldiers by the hundreds, but the long blood-red hair and ancient claymore were… distinctive.

He padded forward on bare feet, blood dripping from the edge of his great sword as a smile accentuated the vertical tattooed red stripes around his mouth. The Drake, we’d taken to calling him. Against a Revenant of that calibre there was nothing my soldiers could do but die.

“Retreat,” I ordered the remainder, voice laced with power.

The squires scattered to the four winds, save for one who’d been too close – the Drake approached and the girl swung down her sword at his head, but the Revenant easily stepped around it. Zombie’s stride had not slowed and my staff rose as I gathered Night around the tip, but even that was too slow. In a single casual stroke, the Drake swung down and blood sprayed as he carved through the squire and the horse beneath her. I grit my teeth, letting loose a spinning javelin of Night at the Revenant that caught him in the ribs and shredded flesh and bone. The impact smashed him into a tree, making it crack, and the hide armour was smoldering around the edges. It wouldn’t do shit to this particular horror, though, I well knew. I passed the falling halves of the dead squire, unsheathing my sword as I began gathering Night again, but already flesh and bone had knitted themselves back together.

The Drake, laughing, cracked a shoulder and wrenched himself free of the tree.

“Black Queen,” the Revenant nonchalantly greeted me. “Yours, then?”

Five times I’d tried to kill that murderous cockroach, and never managed it. Once I’d so thoroughly incinerated his corpse that all that’d been left had been a single hand, and still he’d walked out of that battlefield on two feet. Whatever it was the Dead King had done to this one, it’d made him durable beyond reason. Even wounds inflicted with Light came back in a matter of moments. His capacity to recover from damage might genuinely surpass what my body had been able to do at the peak of my time holding Winter.

“Drake,” I coldly replied, deadwood staff levelled at him. “They were. Burn.”

A howling gout of blackflame erupted from the tip, swallowing him whole before beginning to spin on itself at my direction. I heard bits of crazed laughter through even the roar of the dark fire as used my knees to guide Zombie away from the blaze. Fuck, this one was always a pain to contain. I had enough hard-hitting ranged tricks that if I could catch him at a distance he wasn’t a major threat, but I’d yet to find anything that could actually put him down for good and not for lack of trying. Time to pull out my forces and find a softer target. Zombie slowed on the turn and I leant to the side to better slam the butt of my staff against the ground, drawing deep on Night and hastily shaping it. Thin threads of darkness skittered along the ground, running up trunks and binding trees as they hooked themselves deep.

The Drake leapt out of the flames, naked and burnt but already healing, just in time for me to wrench with my will and smash him down into the ground with a dozen bound trees. I heard bones break and organs pulp, his broken body stuck under the massive weight. That ought to slow him for a span, until I could get something sterner in place.

“That-” the Revenant began, then paused to spit out a thick glob of blood, “-that was unkind.”

Of all the dead Named in Keter’s service he might just be the chattiest, and the Dead King did seem to have left him most of his will and wits. It made him more flexible – the same tactics rarely worked twice against him – but it also meant he fell more easily into distractions. Getting him talking tended to work, especially if it was about himself.

“I’ve been curious,” I idly asked, drawing on Night. “How long did it take, before you turned?”

One more working to keep him stuck there for a bit then I’d retreat. The sooner I got my knights away from him the better. It might be worth coming back afterwards to have a crack at destroying him, though, I silently considered. Better here and now than at Maillac.

“Fifty three years,” the Drake amiably replied. “Would that I had bent at forty, that last decade was… inventive.”

I knew from experience that impaling him wouldn’t work for long – his healing was so aggressive that it shredded whatever went through him by sheer pressure – and that quartering only held him so long. He’d been physically strong even by Named standards, I suspected. It was burying alive that’d worked best so far, so I got to it methodically. Shaping Night into large blades I manipulated to cut a rough cube into the ground, I then shaped another working and ripped out the loose earth as if with great claws. I’d need to drag him into the hole before burying him, though, so best get the strings spun out already. I wasn’t always quick enough to snatch him when I wove them on the fly. Still, thank the Gods I’d caught him in the woods instead of on an open field. He was much hard to deal with without terrain to use. I spun out five threads, then threw in a sixth just to be sure and thickened them, then –

Darkness fell over the woods, pure and inky black. Shit, I thought, immediately releasing all my workings. Mantle’s here too. Was this an ambush? I threw myself off my horse, ripping my boots out of the stirrups, and felt Zombie kick about in a panic. I slapped his rump with the side of my staff so he’d know to run before spinning it about, smashing it into the ground. A tremor of Night shivered across the forest floor, sending the earth I’d loosened flying in a rain that should obscure Mantle’s vision just as she’d obscured mine. My consistent inability to see through her darkness while it did not impede her was one of the many reasons I fucking hated dealing with that particular Revenant. Still, this made it two from the nebulous roster that our heroes liked to call the Scourges. It really was beginning to smell like ambush to my nose.

I’d begun to count in the back of my mind the moment things went dark and I kept it up even as I threw up an obscuring veil of Night around myself and ducked behind where I remembered to be a tree. The tree blew up a moment later, though I heard no noise and only knew because I felt the shiver and wood shards ripping into my cloak. I slid further down, closer to the roots, as something whizzed near my head, knowing a helmet would have made no difference if a curse hit but still chastising myself for the lack of it anyway. Cocky gets you killed, Catherine, I reminded myself. You don’t grow back limbs anymore. The last three beats separating me from the count of sixteen passed agonizingly slowly, but when the timing struck I was ready.

The darkness winked out, revealing the Drake halfway through a leap in my direction with his claymore raised high and his crimson hair trailing behind, but I wove a thread of Night around his foot and without missing a beat I tossed him in the direction the strike on my tree should have come from. I knew I’d got it right when something ripped through my thread a moment later. Mantle had been some sort of priestess when she lived, and in death those gifts had turned towards the use of curses. Most of them worked against Night, which meant her specialty was shredding my own workings while being twice my size and heavily armored. I liked fighting Mantle even less than I did the Drake, and with her addition to the roster this was starting to look a mite risky. If it’d been a more vulnerable pair I would have embraced an occasion to try knocking off a first-class Revenant before the Dead King could put them to even sharper use, but this wasn’t a good match up for me at all.

It was, to be frank, suspiciously bad. If Tariq or Masego had been around to counter Mantle it might have been tempted to roll the dice anyway, but as things stood… No, I wouldn’t let pride get in the way of good sense here. Our objectives for this raid were either already achieved or beyond reach, so it was time to get the Hells out of here.

I opened a gate into Arcadia about six feet behind me and twenty feet high, making it broad and linked to water: the deluge pouring out served as my cover as I forced myself up and limped away. A wave of heat followed by the hiss of vapour told me the nature of Mantle’s answer, but I did not stop to glance back. I wouldn’t outrun either of them, given my limp, and just fleeing into Twilight wasn’t acceptable when the Order would be relying on me to return there. So when I opened a gate into the Twilight Ways, it wasn’t to go in: it was to allow something out. The ghostly blue wyvern that squeezed its way through lowered its wing so I could go up it and slid me onto its back by angling it. My water portal, though, could only buy me so long.

I felt it get shredded, and a heartbeat later a wide net of crackling shadow flew towards us. On the ground I glimpsed the Drake hastening towards us, so swift-footed his claymore dragged behind him.

“Up,” I ordered the wyvern, already drawing on Night.

I detonated the air in front of the net thrice, in a broad line, but though my enemy’s working wavered it did not break. That was fine, since all I’d wanted was to slow it. The Summoner’s wyvern-thing shot up just in time to avoid the net, batting its wings to pierce through the summit of the trees, but we weren’t done yet. Dark grey clouds began to form above us in a ring, and I held on for dear life I shouted for the wyvern to bank away. It did, narrowly, and only the tip of its tail touched the clouds. I’d seen this one before and… wait, what? The tail was just fine. Fuck, I thought as I glanced down and saw the Drake flying through the air towards us. It’d been a trick, she’d been buying time to throw him.

I loosed two spinning missiles of the same make as earlier, hoping to knock him back down, but he batted one aside – the claymore was enchanted, it didn’t even get a scratch – and spun on himself to narrowly avoid the other. If we’d kept going straight we would have avoided him, but Mantle’s bluff had paid off. Gods but I hated fighting clever opponents. There was no way I was allowing myself to be forced to engage the Drake up close, much less atop a moving magical construct, so with a grimace I glanced down at the woods and breathed out before taking a leap. Hopefully the wyvern would slow down the Revenant some. I wove a veil around myself on the way down, which proved to be a sound precautions when a spray of shard-like pieces of darkness tore through the air coming from below.

I flared out my cloak to slow my fall some, letting them pass below, and only then broke the veil to form tendrils of shadow that anchored themselves on one of the rapidly approaching trees. Using those I threw myself towards the open grounds, just in time for the tendrils to be torn through by Mantle as above me the wyvern-thing screeched. A glance told me the Drake had ripped into its belly and it was quickly falling apart. The dead priestess had never unmade the second gate I’d opened, though, the one the construct had come through, and a heartbeat later she was made to pay for that oversight. A ring of dark clouds that’d been forming ahead of me – the genuine acidic version this time, I was guessing – suddenly dispersed out as Archer made her presence known.

 I heard a cry of anger, but I couldn’t see what was going on from up here. Still, given that Indrani was involved it was safe to assume that Mantle was having a bad time.

I had other priorities anyway, to be honest, though before shaping a way to slow my descent I still took the time to form a thread of Night, snatching the Drake’s foot after he leapt off the shattering wyvern-construct and throwing him deeper into the woods. It had little room for manoeuvre, afterwards, so I brute-forced the landing by smashing the ground beneath me and then using the blowback to slow my fall. I swallowed a scream as my bones rattled and my bad leg burned with pain, but I landed on my feet and only stumbled after taking three slow steps forward. I swallowed a curse and a moan of pain, picking up the sword I’d dropped to sheathe it and forcing myself up by leaning on my staff. In the back of my mind I finally felt my last portal get shredded.

Not that it mattered. From the woods ahead of me, where the Order was gathering to retreat, I saw three arrows arcs upwards in quick succession. Archer was a prodigy at sidling, she’d be able to slip in and out of this battlefield more or less at will and shoot from her pick of places. The last of the undead had gone off to chase my knights in the distance, so unless the Revenants caught up we were safe to retreat. Best hurry just in case. I wasn’t looking forward to limping all the way, but – huh. Zombie the Sixth nonchalantly trotted up to my side, seemingly unworried by the skirmishing that’d taken place since we last saw each other. The purebred zancada slowed at my side, as if inviting me to saddle up again.

“Good horse,” I praised, genuinely impressed.

Might be I’d still get some use of him living after all. I slid a boot into a stirrup and dragged myself back into the saddle, speeding away back into the woods. With Archer harassing the enemy we ought to be able to retreat in relative peace, I figured, but there was no point in wasting time.

We still had a few raids in us before exhaustion set in.

“There’s a saying in back home, Catherine,” Adjutant gravelled in Kharsum. ” It goes ‘a hunter cannot carry a cookpot’.”

I leaned back into my seat in the tent that soldiers had raised for me in the heart of the Boot, along with those of a few other high officers. Sipping at a mug of tea, I was wishing I’d taken up Indrani on her offer of a massage even though odds were that would have devolved in more strenuous activity. After most of a day riding and fighting, my entire body felt like one throbbing bruise and no quantity of herbal brew was going to fix that.

“I mean, depends on the hunter,” I mused. “But I’m guessing I’m missing some of the nuances.”

Hakram was seated in his wheelchair, but all the same he was looking rather different: he had, after all two legs again. The prosthetic leg looked grim, all grey iron and leather, but it was him who’d chosen the appearance – he’d turned down the appearance of flesh or even a more polished casing in metal. It was still closed enough I couldn’t see the enchanted strands of copper that’d been tied to his muscles, fooling his body into thinking there was still a flesh leg to use, but the articulations around the ankle could be glimpsed. Now and then he moved the foot, as if to check that he still could. He couldn’t actually walk on this, not yet. There was still need of an operation on the hip to fix the cut bones there and shore it up so the pressure wouldn’t damage his side.

This was a first step, and the operation had been done in part so see if there would be any trouble with his body acclimating to the prosthetic. Masego would have preferred starting with the arm, but Hakram had been adamant otherwise. I could see both sides. Zeze wanted to minimize the risk, as if disease or spellrot took the arm would be much easier to heal, while Adjutant knew that starting with the arm instead of a leg meant at least two more months before he could begin trying to walk with crutches. Masego had insisted on leaving time for recovery between the surgeries so the body would be strained as little as possible and the chances of rejecting the limbs were lowest. Still, in the end it was a choice that was Hakram’s alone to make.

So long as he knew the risks, it was not my or anyone else’s place to gainsay his decision.

“It is a figure of speech,” Hakram said. “Those specific words for hunter and cookpot were picked because they sound like those for swift and slow, respectively. It means even victory weighs you down, if you’re not careful.”

Cookpot, huh. We both knew it wasn’t just mutton that ended up in there. Ah, implied cannibalism. That backbone of ancient orcish wisdom.

“Not the most promising of segues after I asked you to summarize our scouting reports,” I drily noted. “Shall I take it things aren’t exactly looking up?”

“This isn’t the war to fight, if you’re looking for pleasant turns,” Hakram snorted. “And my people are still taking in reports as we speak, so take all this with a grain of salt.”

My brow rose.

“Wow,” I said. “It must be really bad if you’re prefacing this much.”

“You did exactly what you set out to achieve,” Adjutant gallantly set. “Which was provoke the columns headed towards the Iron Prince into battle here.”

“So we drew them in,” I warily said. “That was the plan. What’s the issue?”

“You drew them in,” Adjutant repeated.

I blinked.


“You drew them all in,” Adjutant clarified. “As far as we can tell there’s not a single warband, battalion or even individual construct east of us that’s not headed towards Maillac as quick as its legs can carry it.”

I paused, glancing down at the mug of tea that was inexplicably not aragh. A shameful oversight, that.

“Well,” I faintly said. “Klaus and our reinforcements should be winning their battle handily, at least.”

I’d been a little worried that even the raids by the Order of Broken Bells wouldn’t be enough to convince Keter to keep its eye on us, that the Dead King would write off the losses and still try to concentrate his forces against the Prince of Hannoven while we bled him, but it seemed like my seasoned pessimism had come all the way around and somehow become a different kind of naïve optimism. It was almost like doing magic, I thought, except for the part where every part of this was terrible.

“I have mastered a new and terrible art,” I mused, going fishing through faded lessons on Old Miezan. “Fortunomancy, I believe it would be called.”

“That would be luck magic,” Hakram commented. “Which would be useful, and I believe is actually practiced in some parts of southern Procer under a different name. You’re looking for infelicitomancy, which would be the branch of sorcery entirely about bad luck.”

“Thank you, Adjutant,” I gravely replied. “I would offer you my blessing for your service in this matter, but I fear a lightning strike would not be far.”

“They never are, when Masego’s around,” he agreed. “Though considering we’re about to be swimming up to our necks in undead, perhaps we could do with a few more.”

I grimaced, because that was too true for words.

“What kind of numbers are we looking at?” I asked.

“Depend on how long we fight,” Hakram said. “The first skirmishers will arrive by Early Bell, we reckon, but the first assault shouldn’t come until midday. Maybe twenty thousand, for that first wave?”

We could handle twenty thousand. Even if you discounted the Order of Broken Bells entirely, it was only a two to one numbers advantage for the dead while my people were properly dug-in and ready. The trouble would be that this wasn’t the whole battle, it was just the first fucking wave. It’d get worse, much worse. And unlike the skeletons my people would tire the longer it lasted.

“Do we have an opening for retreat?” I asked.

That would be the key. If we were at genuine risked of being surrounded and wiped out – or close enough – during a retreat into the Twilight Ways then I’d have to call an early retreat. Which might be the point, I thought. The Dead King’s calling my bluff, and if I retreat now he’ll hack at Klaus’ back while having lost less than a day’s worth of march.

“Between the second and the third wave, there should be a beat of four to six hours before the enemy can gather sufficient strength to be a threat,” Hakram gravelled. “If we use our pharos device it should be enough.”

Given our very limited stock of those I was always reluctant to use them, but this was a dire situation and the Iron Prince would have several of them with his army anyway. I’d swallow the loos, considering the circumstances.

“Second wave?” I asked.

“Thirty to forty thousand,” Adjutant said. “At least. Constructs in significant numbers. And while I cannot be sure, I’d be surprised if most of the Revenants with the columns couldn’t make in there in time as well.”

So, to make it out without being badly mauled then we would need to beat two armies outnumbering us significantly in the same day, and beat them badly enough that the losses inflicted meant the enemy would not have the numbers to press us significantly while we retreated back into the Twilight Ways. We would, no doubt, also be facing the latest batch of horrors from Keter and some of the Dead King’s finest Revenants. I set down my mug of tea, my hand surprisingly steady considering what lay ahead of us.

“Well,” I smiled, hard and toothy. “You know our policy when it comes scraps like this, Adjutant. I see no reason to change it at so late an hour.”

He laughed.

“Let them take a swing?” Hakram Deadhand asked, baring sharp fangs.

“Let them take a swing,” I softly agreed. “There are still graves we have yet to fill.”

60 thoughts on “Chapter 66: Blind Pigs

  1. I’m guessing Cat comes into her first aspect during this battle. It would make sense if it’s related to overseeing Named, since she’s up against a group of Revenants.

    Blind swine is a checkmate pattern, two rooks on the seventh rank: black’s king is blocked in by his own rook in the normal castling position.

    Liked by 23 people

    • Also:
      A pair of rooks on the opponent’s second rank is referred to as “pigs” as they tend to devour pawns and pieces, and “blind pigs” if they cannot find the mate.

      Liked by 15 people

      • A bit of an expansion on the term:

        Once it’s been set, it’s almost impossible to defend against the Blind Swine Checkmate Pattern, because the two rooks coordinate and cover each other along that rank (and there might be support by another piece). Once they are in position, it’s pretty much impossible to prevent the checkmate, though it is still possible to delay it by putting pieces in the way. Those pieces will then be devoured one after the other as they are mere futile attempts to stop the inevitable. So long as the player stays focused and doesn’t waste their chance, this pattern will guarantee victory.

        This kind of situation could be an analogy to the Dead King’s current state: he is delaying by sending waves after waves of his troops to stop the Grand Alliance Armies.
        Sure, he has A LOT of reserves he can throw at them, and a single mistake could end this for the GA, but at a Meta level, we know that this is heading towards the Dead King’s defeat.

        Liked by 14 people

        • Isn’t it more a comparison to Cat’s situation?

          She’s blocked herself in with her own pieces into facing multiple threats from the Dead King. Including at least two waves that Cat will have to face. It’s a bad situation for her, but… if she manages to escape the trap she will have gain significant material over the Dead King?

          Liked by 4 people

          • As with all S-Tier references, you could easily read it 2+ ways. The two Revenants forced Cat to effectively concede by covering one another in her first Raid.

            On the other hand, the multiple waves of Dead could be seen as two Rooks cornering Cat and eating up her many lines of defence slowly and inexorably, leaving her little to no time to retreat unless she can somehow remove one from the board at heavy cost.

            Lastly, Cat and Klaus are the two Rooks and something incredibly valuable must be sacrificed by DK in order to get one off of the board. They are ‘blind’ because they cannot directly reinforce one another.

            Liked by 9 people

    • Ah, cool, I was thinking it was that saying about, even blind pigs find a truffle now and then or however it goes. Good to know it was keeping to the chess theme.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Okay, is the Drake a nod to Deadpool? He definitely feels like a nod to Deadpool.

    Also, yeah, that intro quote had me prepared for the Dead King to call Cat’s bluff, but wow. Sending the entire army against Cat’s force is quite the reaction.

    Liked by 13 people

  3. Damn, that horse is a Revenant. She turned it into a zombie immediately in her own mind and fully intended to turn it into one at the first excuse. If her forces decide to name it themselves, then her doom, or at least something really really bad, will be imminent. It wasn’t the horse’s nonchalance that decided it for me, but her appreciation of it. She’s the Sorceress of Bad Luck, after all.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Drake is a major problem. I mean, turned into ashes and a hand? And then walking away from the battlefield? That is serious levels of regeneration.

    Yep, that raid was a trap.

    All of them? That could be problematic. On the other hand … it definitely has Story potential. Both good and bad.

    Hakram will hopefully be walking soon. Good news.

    Liked by 8 people

    • Yeah, regenerating from just a hand wasn’t something I expected to see in any Named in this series.

      I still think Cat’s group should design some technique that throws Revenants into the Twilight Ways. Good luck surviving when the whole dimension is actively trying to destroy you.

      Or use Goblin Fire on that guy.

      Cat shouldn’t forget her roots XD.

      Liked by 14 people

      • > I still think Cat’s group should design some technique that throws Revenants into the Twilight Ways.
        I was wondering about that too, but that’s also risky, because it potentially gives DK a channel to attack Twilight directly. Twilight’s hostility to undead is based only on Plgrim’s shaping of the Crown it was based on, and given a strong point-of-presence like that, DK might actually be powerful enough to argue with (or subvert) the Crown directly.

        Liked by 3 people

      • I know she is worried about going down in history as the Goblin Fire Queen but honestly, this seems like the right use for it. A fire that burns through magic for days on end should prevent his regeneration. At least for long enough for Masego to study the properties and devise a way to end it for real.

        Liked by 8 people

  5. If she pulls this off it’d be the sort of thing that gets you into the history books IRL, like “Hannibal beats the Romans” sort of thing. Two battles, in a single day, 10,000 vs (at least) 60,000? That’s impressive. If she pulls it off.

    Liked by 16 people

    • True. And let’s not forget:

      Cat’s camp is preparing at least two nukes heavy-hitting and large-scale untested, and risky experimental state of the art rituals of highly blasphemous vanguardist branches of sorcery.

      It’s gonna be a battle for the history books, one way or the other.

      Liked by 23 people

    • To be fair, the undead armies seem to rely on quantity over quality. The alliance planned to fight at 2-1 odds for this offensive. Klaus took Juvelun from an army twice his size, in a fortified position, and nobody seemed to think it was surprising.

      However, 4-1 odds for the second wave, backed by a pair of the DK’s best revenants, is definitely heroic odds.

      Liked by 7 people

  6. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my fingers closing around the handle of the knife at my hip. I’d always known I’d need to cross some lines, to get ahead in the Empire. Gods, I’d as good as renounced any chance of getting into the Heavens after I died just by claiming a Name on the wrong side of the fence so this was positively trifling in comparison. Like felling a tree to make a cart, I told myself, the words coming as cold comfort.

    “Will it be painful?” I asked, opening my eyes. “For the horse, I mean.”

    “It won’t even wake,” Black replied.

    I’d seriously debated killing him and raising him before Hakram got me to admit it would be somewhat unpolitic of me.

    Oh, how far we’ve come.

    Liked by 19 people

  7. Typo Thread:

    distance as a warband > distance a warband
    name would > name and would
    the way they dawn (something’s wrong here.)
    most the Binds > most of the Binds
    as might look > as it might look
    it must be one > it must have been one
    as used my > as I used my
    might just be > might just have been
    did seem to have > seemed to have
    remembered to be a > remembered was a
    it might have been tempted > it might have been tempting
    life I shouted > life as I shouted
    sound precautions > sound precaution
    I heard a cry (extra space)
    It had little > I had little
    devolved in more > devolved into more
    after all two > after all, two
    part so see > part to see
    Depend on how > Depends on how
    genuine risked > genuine risk
    the loos > the loss
    make in there > make it there
    comes scraps > comes to scraps

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Considering this story isn’t one about heroes and Cat is going to fight an army of about six to one after winning the opening bid, I can only see folly where others see a badass move. If we’re talking Story then the first wave may be the Tie while the second wave will be her defeat, and when not thinking that the pattern of three is everywhere then those numbers are still going to really screw her over.


    • Everyone is a Hero when fighting the Dead King. And that’s not how Patterns of Three go, it’s always the draw in the middle.

      The problem is the Dead King has a lot of experience in winning anyway. I trust Cat and the army of Callow.

      Liked by 7 people

      • Pattern of three: Yeah, I know. She won with this first skirmishing, the first wave will be the tie and the second wave will be her defeat.

        And with her army of Callow, she never faced these kind of numbers before. Not even remotely. The battle before Marchford was less than twice her number while she had the hills and fortifications, against an army containing mercs that would rout fast. The battle of the Camps she was outnumbered less than 1 on 2 as well, against levies that would rout. And most other battles like against the fey, being outnumbered wasn’t the case. I don’t recall situations where she fought numeric superiority without the enemy being weaker on average with routing as a likely outcome for victory. But never has she faced numbers like these against a foe that won’t rout until DK says so.


        • Patterns of three that make you go from victory to defeat are a very specific rival thing. Cat doesnt’ have that with DK currently and she isnt going to get it for one specific battle, that’s not how rivalries work in this ‘verse.

          Liked by 2 people

  9. Am I missing something here? To retreat in the 4 to 6 hour gap between the second and third waves, both the first two waves have to be mostly destroyed. With any coordination at all(easily achievable with just a few Bind commanders), the first two waves can just park right next to them until undead reinforcements come, ready to attack the moment Cat begins a retreat. Either Cat begins retreating, and the undead gain so much numerical superiority that they butcher half her army, or she holds off on retreating, and the remaining waves catch up and butcher even more of her army. How the hell is waiting for them to “take a swing” a good idea?

    Liked by 4 people

    • Add to that how this is essentially pissing away those soldiers that she can’t miss grinding away on bones that the Dead King can spare, and it really doesn’t make much sense indeed. Maybe it will make more sense in the chapters to come, but right now there seem to be motivations that we are not aware of, or there’s some lacking wits on Cat’s part.


    • > With any coordination at all(easily achievable with just a few Bind commanders), the first two waves can just park right next to them until undead reinforcements come, ready to attack the moment Cat begins a retreat.

      The geography around the Boot is very swampy and will slow any assault, as detailed in the previous chapter in the three paragraphs starting with: “The skeletons still wore armour, still weighed heavy, and as a rule tended to be significantly less deft and agile than living soldiers besides.” The third of those paragraphs explicitly states that Cat would be pleased if the dead decide to wait.

      Plus Cat’s had Pickler putting up some light fortifications to slow attacks even more. So if the dead wait until Cat is beginning a retreat to attack, they have to wade through molasses to get there, by which point they’re likely only bloodying whatever Cat puts in place as a rearguard rather than wearing down Cat’s army all day. That means less living people get killed, and that makes Nessie sad.

      > the undead gain so much numerical superiority that they butcher half her army,

      In medieval warfare, two front lines go at each other, and everyone behind the front lines on both sides has to wait their turn; this limits the usefulness of numerical superiority (the Battle of Thermopylae is the most famous example of this: a very small number of people were able to hold off a very large number for several days because they were able to pick a site for the battle where the front lines for both sides could only be very narrow, so only a few people could fight at a time). So if the undead have enough bodies to attack Cat’s whole front line in early waves, they might as well attack then, because extra bodies behind the dead’s front line are just waiting their turn until the front line is re-dead anyway. If the dead wait and mass their forces, they might be able to attack Cat’s army while taking fewer losses, because once a front line breaks it’s much easier to rout. But massing their forces isn’t going to significantly increase the rate at which they can kill on the front line, and the dead don’t particularly care about their losses as long as they maximize the number of living people killed.

      > How the hell is waiting for them to “take a swing” a good idea?

      Cat’s goal is to delay the dead so that she doesn’t meet up with Klaus’s army only to be immediately pincered by two massive undead armies in a crappy location. That would probably mean annihilation of both of the larger armies, which would be much worse than even losing all 10,000 Cat diverted for this delay tactic. Cat can reasonably expect Nessie to send early waves into the grinder, because Nessie’s goal is to kill as many people as possible, and Nessie doesn’t have much concern about his losses.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Man youre right sounds like shes gonna need a hero to come save her
      Maybe a big strong hero, fighting for her sake, a white knight, so to speak
      If only there was such a hero that is currently going through a crisis and would have a good story about fighting a greater evil being worth teaming up with a waning one.


  10. Gotta say, I feel like X-men level regeneration is really pushing my suspension of disbelief for Named powers. At least with the Pale Knight, his apparent invulnerability is a pseudo-believable mystery, given his Name & history. This new guy just seems silly. On a lighter note, I’m also hopping on the ‘Cat earns her new Name here’ bandwagon. Seriously hoping her first Aspect is either ‘Badgers’ or ‘Sarcasm’.


    • “Seriously hoping her first Aspect is either ‘Badgers’ or ‘Sarcasm’.”

      Yessss, feel your sarcasm, let the contempt flow through you. GIVE yourself to the Snark Side!

      Liked by 1 person

        • Assassin has literally been killed, fully killed dead, twice on screen (once at Liesse and once in Vivienne’s memories iirc) and apparently killed off screen enough times that Cat thinks the idea idea of their most recent reported death sticking is a joke. However their aspect works it’s possibly even more ridiculous than Drake’s.

          Besides, we should remember Drake is a *monstrous* Named. I imagine a number of more extra Dread Emperors and Black Knights had some fairly ridiculous powers in the same vein (especially in conjunction with some ill advised transformation). They often get powers meant to serve as overpowered obstacles with a trick to overcoming them, rather than balanced powers meant to serve as steadily growing extensions of someone’s character development. And whatever Drake was once, now he’s a monster of the Dead King, the same progenitor who made those ridiculously durable flesh golem ghoul things Hanno fought in that one interlude at the capital. So while this is a truly absurd level of regeneration, it strikes me as a reasonable peak example of the bullshit we’ve seen from the Dead King’s worst nightmares so far.

          Liked by 3 people

          • Great analysis.

            And the flip side of having bullshit monster boss powers in this setting is that you’ve declared yourself a bullshit boss monster fight; you’ve locked yourself out of strategic victory in exchange for the tactical advantage. It’s an invitation for a heroic named with exactly the right power to win the boss battle.

            Neshamah can put powers like that on revenants precisely because they’re ultimately expendable.


        • Assassin has some kind of power to survive being killed, which is precedent for scope of effect.

          As for silliness, can I just remind you that the setting includes a country called “The Dread Empire” ruled by a “Dread Empress Malicia” with its army called “Legions of Terror”? Just to regain perspective for a few moments. Silly is one thing Guide has never done anything with other than eat whole :3

          Liked by 2 people

  11. As a delaying action against the Drake, could Cat maybe create a horizontal doorway to Twilight Ways for the Drake to fall through and then create the exit doorway into creation just above the entry doorway such that the Drake will keep falling infinitely through twilight and creation much like what you can do in the game Portal?

    Liked by 1 person

    • If you are doing that, make it a box of portals so that there is no way “out” of the loop. It would be the same idea as trapping light in a box of mirrors.

      Of course there would be no way to verify the effectiveness of this tactic, and it’s unknown if the Dead King could do anything with a Revenant in the Twilight Ways to reduce the effectiveness of the Ways


    • I’d frankly be worried about giving the most indestructible Revenant access to the Twilight Ways, and through him the Dead King.

      If the Twilight Ways couldn’t kill him faster than he regenerates and couldn’t eject the Dead King from the driver’s seat …. Yeah I wouldn’t risk seeing what the man responsible for the very notion of sorcery as usurpation could do with up close access to the Coalition’s single greatest war asset.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Hmmm, how does the song go?

    Is there a white knight, upooon a fiiiery steeed,
    Late at a ight I toss (goblinfire) I turn (undead) and dreeeam of what I need

    I need. A hero!

    Thank you, thank you,…


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